Mentally Shrill #019: Weird people shit

Not only am I serious, I'm also right. Argue with your mother.

Weird people shit

  • Using a pop socket (it’s worse if they say “I have tiny hands!!!”)

  • Having tiny and/or weird hands 

  • The Telfar Bag Security Program…………k

  • People who say “I saw this” when you send a meme and then it’s dry af/that’s all they say. Like ok sorry damn

  • Never mentioning Rihanna. You’re weird and hate powerful women. Go away. 

  • Mentioning what college you went to. But it’s ok to say “sorry what does that mean? I went to a state school” when people use words that are obnoxiously big 

  • Not gossiping 

  • Omelettes. Literally weird as fuck. This could just be a “me” problem but I doubt it. I love a good egg but why are you putting all that stuff in there? Weirds me out completely. 

  • Those milkshakes with the glass coated in frosting and sprinkles….you are smoking some high-quality CRACK if you think I’m licking that glass.

  • “Succession hive.” Why can’t y’all just watch a show and be normal…

  • The fact that we have to work to make money? Literally no???? Why can’t we just chill all day like animals do I don’t get it 

  • Stand-up comedians that aren’t like…George Carlin (RIP), Bernie Mac (RIP), Robin Williams (RIP), Mo’Nique or Steve Martin. Basically comedians under 50. Y’all are simply not giving what needs to be gave.

  • Never having worked a service job. No need to say more. Fucking freaks. 

  • Not pushing your chair in 

  • Not having manners. Like I don’t expect you to be able identify a salad fork or anything but don’t act like you were raised in a brothel. Have some couth.

  • Gossiping solely about people who work in media. I quite literally cannot tell those bitches apart can we please move on and talk about someone cool

  • Blonde men

  • Saying hereditary/midsonmar are you comfort films

  • Saying A24 out loud 

  • Having opinions on movies/shows and telling people them unprompted 

  • Sincerely using Letterboxd. Babe you’re a freak

  • Making forgetting taking your meds a personality

  • Blaming everything on mental health. You don’t do stuff you think is “quirky” because you have anxiety/ADHD/OCD you’re literally just annoying me

  • Screenshotting when people who barely know you exist block you and tweeting aboutit

  • Owning a gun 

  • Thinking people need guns 

  • People who can’t just vibe 

  • Never hanging out with your friends in complete silence as you text each other memes 

  • Not liking horror movies 

  • Telling people you hate children unprompted 

  • Having a favorite Hollywood Chris 

  • Saying “Hollywood Chris” 

  • Knowing what Emma chamberlain does when you’re an adult

  • Following addison rae 

  • Participating in Olivia rodrigo discourse when you’re over the age of 19 

  • Sincerely replying to tweets 

  • Bringing up URL situations IRL. Can you chill? Why are you referencing my tweet at this kickback you psycho

  • Never having seen an episode of Little House on the Prairie or The Parkers. I know these are two extremes but trust me I’ve thought about this a lot and this is how it has to be 

  • Being mean to people online where they can see you instead of in your group chat(s) 

  • Not gossiping (again) 

  • Having shit like “P. Sherman 42 Wallaby Way” or “Wakanda” or “Free Britney” as your Twitter location. Just say you live in a flyover state. Nothing wrong with that. It’s kinda chic tbh 

  • The #FreeBritney movement. That’s my bitch forever but some of y’all are carrying. It’s weird. 

  • Telling all your business online 

  • Not telling all your business online in a tasteful way 

  • Not crying about Brittany Murphy, Phillip Seymour Hoffman or John Ritter at least once a year. Psychopath behavior. 

  • Not having siblings? That’s literally fucking weird?? Grow up 

  • Not liking pickles. Unless you have an allergy that’s very childish. TBH even the allergy is pushing it

  • Not having any food allergies at all. A bit greedy of you, no? 

  • Reacting to someone’s IG story with an emoji. What am I meant to do with that, babes. 

  • Having a father 

  • Thinking you’re special because you don’t use dating apps. Congrats on getting railed by a stranger the old-fashioned way, dork. 

  • Not eating at chain restaurants 

  • Normalizing being vegan/vegan restaurants. I have a tree nut allergy so it’s technically ableist to invite me to Gracias Madre. Also ew.  

  • Cashews being tree nuts when they look just like peanuts. Weird and scary. 

  • Not openly discussing your cosmetic procedures. Babe I’ve seen your yearbook photos…

  • Following Chrissy Teigen 

  • Getting along with your sister. OK…

  • Giving birth to a son. You’re literally giving birth to someone who is guaranteed to be giving someone a headache in the future. That’s weird.

  • Taking movies seriously. What exactly were people expecting from Joaquin Phoenix playing the Joker 

  • Pretending the dark knight is a good movie. RIP Heath but y’all can argue with a wall I don’t care 

  • Marvel phases. Just make the movies WTF is “phase four” you weirdos?????????

  • Watching WandaVision or Ted Lasso. Sorry but you’re a freak. 

  • Not liking Gwyneth Paltrow. She’s literally minding her business…

  • Owning a French bulldog. You’re weird and tbh you’re also bad with money. Paying thousands for an alien-looking dog to be born via c-section only for it to not even be able to jump up on your couch out of fear of hip dysplasia??????? Worrisome tbh.

  • Not returning your cart after shopping. You’re weird, you’re rude, and we’re all talking about you 

  • Knowing the name of your coworker’s spouse. One of you talks way too much. Nip that in the bud. 

  • Chihuahuas 

  • Making Clueless (1995) a personality trait when you’re not from LA. Babe our culture is not a costume…

  • Coffee dates. A shiver went down my spine just typing that. 

  • Knowing how to spell Jake Gyllenhaal without copy/pasting from Google. Bitch wtf 

  • Ted Lasso 

  • Taking a screenshot and tweeting when a celebrity follows you. Why are you making it weird…

  • Saying you’re a cat person. I do not care and the cats don’t either. 

  • Whoever decided to rebrand pleather as “vegan leather.” Lipstick on a pig, babe. 

  • Bowling. Legit gives me the ick to even type the word. Never invite me to one of those places I will not go and I will start hating you. 

  • Being proud of going to sweetgreen 

  • Being over the age of 25 and posting about Kourtney Kardashian/Travis Barker and Megan Fox/Machine Gun Kelly. Not only are you weird, you need intense therapy. Freak behavior!!!